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samthecatI have been very busy with my jobs lately. There have been visitors and I am in charge of watching the visitors. First there were three people and one of them was very tiny. I liked the tiny human but Al and Hobbes feared her because they are imbeciles.
Then there were two other visitors, and I also liked them. And there is a new person who lives in the house now. I think her name is Greedy Jerk because on her first day here she ate salmon and didn't give me any even though I really wanted it. So I tried to steal it but Food Lady thwarted me.
The other day while everyone was sleeping I puked up some giant pukes all over the bedroom, as one does. Food Lady woke up to clean it and then got upset at me for no good reason, just because the pukes were green plastic grass. She left me alone just long enough that I got complacent and then she grabbed me, shoved me in a box, and dragged me to the vet. He prodded my stomach and it was an indignity, and plus I'm pretty sure he was insulting me and laughing at me. Then I got to come home, but I have not forgotten this affront to my honor.
I have also been busy with my other job. My other job is that whenever Hobbes is happy and purrs, I have to punch him in the face. It is my most important job.
Then there were two other visitors, and I also liked them. And there is a new person who lives in the house now. I think her name is Greedy Jerk because on her first day here she ate salmon and didn't give me any even though I really wanted it. So I tried to steal it but Food Lady thwarted me.
The other day while everyone was sleeping I puked up some giant pukes all over the bedroom, as one does. Food Lady woke up to clean it and then got upset at me for no good reason, just because the pukes were green plastic grass. She left me alone just long enough that I got complacent and then she grabbed me, shoved me in a box, and dragged me to the vet. He prodded my stomach and it was an indignity, and plus I'm pretty sure he was insulting me and laughing at me. Then I got to come home, but I have not forgotten this affront to my honor.
I have also been busy with my other job. My other job is that whenever Hobbes is happy and purrs, I have to punch him in the face. It is my most important job.
